How To Make Personal Problems Go Away

In this post, for you Reader

1. A problem I was facing, and my perspective on problems
2. Where most problems come from
3. How to react better and get to solutions quicker
4. Applying this to "real" problems
5. The most important tip for solving problems
6. A Video with an exercise for you try
7. PS - A free event coming up all about Mastering Your Emotions. Check it out.

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I'm writing this to you after several days of up and down emotions. A couple highs and few real lows.

The world is re-configuring. The energy is intense. There is a lot of pain out there. This was mirrored in my life in a situation with my business partner that could have sunk our collaboration. Are you going through something similar in some area of your life?

How do I personally handle something like this?

First, I realize that none of this is actually a problem. "Everything is happening for you." Yes, I believe that.

You've heard that idea, too, I'm sure. It sounds good. But is it true? How the hell do you actually live that? How do you actually experience life like this?

The short answer is: learn to embrace your own internal emotions, no matter what. Then everything serves you.

Let me explain.

Where Most Problems Come From

We think we have problems. But if we look beyond our surface thoughts, we have no idea if our problems are actually problems.

• You can't actually know if getting fired is bad, or is going to lead you to doing work you love.
• You can't actually know if some health challenge is bad, or is going to be the reason you make huge positive changes in your life and inspire other people.
• If someone dumps you or cuts off contact, you think it's bad, but what if that person's life totally blossoms after they do that. What if yours blossoms in a way you could have never expected? Would want to go back?

BUT all these situations FEEL terrible. That's the real reason we believe they are problems.

Our insides are squirming and raging and telling us all about how shitty these circumstances are, or how horrible other people are, how it's all their fault, or how this is a huge catastrophe, we're never going to recover, or we're a failure, and everyone's going to hate us, and we're going to die poor and alone. Or, you know, some form of that.

If we weren't squirming on the inside, we wouldn't mind at all what is happening. We would just be present in the situation and take the next step. There wouldn't be the judgement. There wouldn't be the fear. There wouldn't be a problem, there would just be something that happened.

Do you see what I am saying? All our problems are actually emotional reactions. It is our writhing insides that tell us a problem exists.

This is simply an ancient biological mechanism to drive behavior and keep us "safe" from tigers or other tribes. It comes from the oldest part of our nervous system. It's pre-language.

And yet we believe all the thoughts it give us! And we speak and act as if this reaction is the TRUTH. Believing it fully is causing us lots of extra suffering and extending the problem.

How To React Better And Get To Solutions Quicker

Now, you cannot stop your emotional reactions. They are a reflex of the hurt parts of you from deep within your subconscious trying to keep you safe. Trying to stop or suppress your emotional reactions is self-abuse and cuts you off from your ability to sense anything, even things like joy, intuition, or love. Bad idea.

You can't spew your emotions all over everyone else either. Any improvement of feelings by spewing out your emotion is very short-lived, and then later you are likely to feel even worse. Not to mention it rarely solves anything, and other people probably won't react well, causing a whole other set of "problems" and just extending your issues.

There is a third option.

Since you know it is your emotional reaction making something a problem, when a "problem" comes up, immediately go inward to meet the emotional reaction, so that it can heal.

Deal with the source of your upset, which is inside you. Not outside. It is you generating the upset.

This is called emotional processing. You could also call it self-presencing. You could also call it smart.

Because when you heal the emotion, you will find the situation suddenly gets better. You can suddenly see through it more clearly. You might start to see how it's not so bad in the big picture of things. You might start to see how it might actually benefit you. That maybe it's actually pretty funny. Your entire perspective and thoughts on a situation can change just by healing your emotions about it. Then you will have new and better things to say and do that address the situation in a positive way.

I have experienced this over 1000 times by now. 10 years of this practice. It's gold.

It doesn't mean every situation will be easy. NOT AT ALL. But when shit hits the fan, you will always know what to do first. You go inside. Heal the pain coming up.

Once your insides have stopped squirming you will see, with more calmness and clarity, what you can actually do to make the situation work for you somehow. You can turn everything into a positive. Even if the only positive is that you healed a little bit, you still get a win out of every situation.

Both my business partner and I did this over the past week. A situation that could have broken up similar collaborations has only led us to being more self-aware, better at communicating our needs, and stronger in our capacities to work together.

The situation was never a "problem" because we both knew that whatever was raging inside was the thing that this situation was really about. That was where our attention needed to go. Once the inside is taken care of, taking care of the outside is like, child's play. The hardest part is facing yourself.

But What About "Real" Problems?

Wait a minute, you say. What about big persistent real problems like, I have no money? That's a big friggin problem, David!

I've been there, friend. And the same process applies.

A situation like that is going to bring up big, difficult emotions every day. These emotions are going to be screaming that this is a big problem every day, and that you suck as a person. And if you just believe that, it would be very easy to slip into a spiral of negativity leading to depression and powerlessness that sucks all the joy out of your life, and causes you to take desperate measures that create other problems for you.

Instead, you can turn inward every day. And heal. It might take a while, but you will be more free and better.

You might start to see it as a situation that is happening for you so you can deepen your capacity to heal yourself and learn deeper levels of compassion and care. Or learn about slowing down and presence, and learn new solutions, or a new way to be in the world. As your perspective shifts you will find your True Move in the situation, the one that serves you best and leaves the problem behind.

It might take a while. But if it's extra difficult, bring in the big guns, your Higher Self, Unconditional Love, Spirit, The Universe, God, Mother Gaia, or whatever source of high perspective, energetic strength is available to you. It's there. You need only open to it.

Because you will see beyond your human perspective. You will realize, who are you to say it's a problem? Maybe your experience is exactly what you need to become the biggest version of yourself. Maybe it's exactly what you need to begin the next chapter of your life where you powerfully serve others who are experiencing the same. Maybe you are healing something in your family line and stopping it from passing on. Maybe you are healing something for the human collective so we can move into a more loving world. Mabye you are seeing the thing inside you that's stop your happiness for most of your life, and if you can just let it go, you will fall in love with life again.

By embracing the moment, by embracing yourself in it, and doing the processing, you will upgrade your capacities and become a new, better version of yourself, more powerful in the world.

So How Do We Do This Processing Thing ? - The Most Important Tip For Solving Problems

I've written other articles about emotional healing, here's one. That's a few years old. I stand by it, but I've updated my approach A LOT since then.

Right now, I will give you the most important tip that exists for embracing yourself and healing your emotions, and therefor solving your problems - Use your body. It all happens in the body. Even the part about opening to your higher self.

If you want an actual exercise at this point - it's in the video below.

It's a fun exercise. Not all emotional work has to suck.

I briefly explain in this video how changing your emotions can change your results, how it happens in the body, and one way you can use the body, with an exercise for you.

Or you can book a call with me and I'll help you use do this for your specific situation.

(Yeah, that link is pretty buried in this email. It's a reward for you for reading this far.)

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Love,

David

PS - I am doing an hour-long online event on this topic on Monday. If you want more depth on going through your emotions to expand yourself and your capabilities, you'll love this event.

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